You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
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