im about as happy as oj after his trial
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
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