i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
