I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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