gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
she peed on how many people?
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
