im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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