is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
