There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Randomize
