we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
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It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
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Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
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