Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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