she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
i just made my gag reflex go away.
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
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