I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Randomize
