Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
