Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
i now understand why vodka
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
