Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
When did angry sex become our thing?
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
