I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
We're using joints as your birthday candles
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Randomize
