It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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