Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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