I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
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