Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
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