Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Randomize
