Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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