weddingsv make me drug and hornr
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
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