You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
