I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
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