i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize
