I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Randomize
