I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
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