Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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