Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
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