SEEEEXXX PLEASE
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
