we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
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