if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
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