I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Randomize
