____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
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