I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize