I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
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Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
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