Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
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