Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I am in a vortex of obligation.
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
