That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Randomize
