You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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