i permit you to call me
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Randomize
