dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
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