Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
Randomize
