i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
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And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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