you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
