I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
