Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize
