I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Found the puke drawer
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Randomize
