Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
