i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
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