are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
