he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
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My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Randomize