Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Randomize
