I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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