hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
