there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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